There he is

I am not perfect, but no one is ...everyone messes up but that doesn't mean you shouldn't look to the man upstairs for help. He knows your not perfect and he will always forgive you no matter what. So I can do what ever  I want for my blog so I decided to share a piece of a song that I love so much. When im mad , hurt , sad , or what ever I always listen to this song. It always makes me feel better, to know that he is always there. The song is called "There He Is" by Trinitee 5:7.
Just the last bit of the song, the lyrics to long to post lol. Enjoy 
And you looking for Jesus, searching for Jesus
[Chorus]
There He is
Wherever I go
There He is
Wherever I turn
There He is
He's all around
There He is
Reach out and touch Him
There He is
He's right there
There He is
And He's guaranteed to answer
There He is
All of your prayers
There He is
I can feel Him
There He is
Whoa yeah
There He is
He's changing your life right now
There He is
Oh yes He is
There He is
There He is
There He is
When troubles come
There He is
Just close your eyes
There He is
And lift your head
There He is
Towards the sky
There He is
Just call on Him
There He is
And you shall find
There He is
He was there
There He is
All of the time
There He is
If your friends are around
There He is
Then you somewhere by yourself
There He is
Call on His name
There He is
He will be right there
There He is
No matter what the problem
There He is
Or the situation
There He is
My Jesus can fix it
There He is
With no hesitation
There He is
If your money is gone
There He is
And you need some help
There He is
On your dying bed
There He is
You're not by yourself
Everywhere you turn
Everywhere you turn
Everywhere you turn
Everywhere you turn
Everywhere you go
Everywhere you go
All around
And when you walk
There He is
When you talk
There He is
And when you cry
There He is
Go down on your knees and call on Him
Jesus reach out and touch and believe He's right there
There He is
And you can do all things through Christ Jesus that strengthens you
There He is

Read more: Trin-i-tee 5:7 - There He Is Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Trip Planning Finally

So I am not going to be able to do the cruise due to my boyfriend not being able to take time off from work.. sooooo one of my close friends and I are planning a trip to New York! I am super excited. Neither of us have ever been to New York, and we know no one out there lol! Were just going to wing it.. and figure it out on our own and have fun. Who cares you only live once right? Were actually still wondering if we should even rent a car? Any suggestions from my New Yorkers? Everyone is telling us we don't really need one because of trains and buses or what ever.. but I don't know how I feel about that lol.. I don't like getting on no bus I don't want to get robbed or beat up or something lol !!! .. I mean I know we will get lost a lot of the times but I don't want to get to lost. I don't know if that makes sense or not. Any who I am excited ... but scared at the same time. O well guess we will find out how it goes lol

nothing special

So yesterday was free pancake day. I served 30 tables from 9-3 and only made $75. I was pissed. But o well I was just glad I didn't have to work all day like I have done for the 2 years before that. I had class so I had to leave early. Thank God I wouldn't have made it all day with all those bad behind kids that come in there. Make you want to choke them. We had some ignorant behind college students all day. Being that Valencia is on spring break this week. -__- Just playing football in the parking lot. Hanging out and crap. Coming in huge groups just to ask for pancakes and water. It is really a shame. Playing in the restaurant. Omg I am just so glad it is over.

Anyway I didn't do anything else this week. Did some shopping, and that's about it. I know I am ready for his semester to be over I want to go on vacation. I don't even care where I go anymore, as long as im not in Orlando I will be happy.

long week

So it has been a pretty long week for me. Work was pretty busy all week long. Which is really bitter sweet. I am tired from it but on the Brightside I made  lots of money! :) I am off for the next todays and I will be relaxing, preparing for what is to come next week. Free pancake day at my job. I absolutely dread this day every year. The day is designed for us to give away free pancakes and in return we receive donations for the kids with cancer. If only it was that easy right? But of course nothing never goes accordingly when something is free. That day consists of 100s of kids that come in order water and pancakes and don't donate or tip. So we pretty much work for free. Kids and teenagers are also the worse. They come before school, during school, and of course at 4pm all hell breaks loose. Were packed from 5:30 am all the way till we stop serving free pancakes at 10pm. Last year and the year before I worked 14 hours straight. I only made $200 last year -__- I was pissed. That's horrible I should have made at least $350. 

I was so tired after it was ridiculous.  This year I am probably going to come in like at 7am and work till about 4 since I have school! :) I am so excited that I have an excuse to not have to work that entire day. You should have seen me at work the other day running around saying haha to my boss and everyone who has to work the entire day.  I was like aha suckers have fun lol. So yea people ihop has free pancakes next to Tuesday but don't waste your time going. It is only 3 pancakes you can make it at home. Your going to go wait 30 min to eat 3 pancakes and make the servers life more miserable lol.

losing a close one

So I just found that my  best friend has liver cancer and shes at her 4th stage already. They found out yesterday. I don't know how to feel. The doctors told her she has maybe 4 more months to live. Shes only 25. I have no emotions right now, I guess it hasn't set in it. That girl has been my back bone, my big sister, my mentor, she pulled me through. We met under horrible circumstances but we pulled through together. We went to sleep talking and woke up laughing, for over 2 years. We did our time together. The only person I trusted in there. (prison that is) I got all a year before her and I promised her I would always be there. I kept my word. I wrote her had phone conversations with her. When she got out I was right there waiting on her. She lives in Tampa so we couldn't hang out all the time, but I always made it my business to go there atleast once a month. Now her moms calling me saying that she has liver cancer? How can that be? I was just talking to her and she was fine. She amazes me still because she still laughing and she has so much faith shes making all of us believe and have hope and faith. She is so strong and I believe you can over come this .. she is the strength in all of us. I just pray she gets better. I cant lose her.

Tired

Iam tired!  I can not wait to go on my vacation. Work and School and having some type of social life is draining me. I have only one day a week I can sleep in and that's Thursday. It sucks I need more sleep. Anyways im planning a get away as soon as this semester ends. Im trying to go on a cruise. Hopefully I am able to book a ticket soon so I can get out of here. If not then Miami I will be. Shopping, spending , shopping, spending, beaches, sleeping, eating. Yeees I cant wait. OOh yea its Valentines day this weekend im excited. Im excited because I asked for Michael Kors watch and I cant wait to have it! I better get it or I will not talk to my boyfriend for 1 week! SO if I don't get a watch he's in big trouble. I asked for 3 things a watch, my car windows tinted, and a full spa day... he said I couldn't have all 3 -__- . So I asked for 2 out of the 3 haha! I know I sound like a spoiled brat. Oh well I don't care. Im literally  just talking about nothing because I have nothing to talk about. I don't even feel like blogging to be honest. Ok im done talking bye.

You cant fix what cant see its the soul that needs surgery.

Beyoncé  has a song on her new album that I am absolutely obsessed with. Its basically about image. How women  and girls today all worry about how they look , and their self esteem. How everything on tv and magazines say skinny is better or having big boobs and a small waist and hips and a butt is how every women is suppose to look like. Its something society has been struggling with for years.

I don't think it should be like that. It sucks you know that girls think what they look like is not good enough. How people starve them selves to be skinny because they're worried about what other people think. How all the women on tv is completely flawless and perfect. People aren't made perfect and flawless. Everybody cant have that body perfect shape. How woman are spending thousand of dollars just to fix there imperfections so the eye of the society can them for the "It Girl". Nowadays nothing else matters just looks. Who has the latest Michael Kors bag or the nicest car. Blah Blah just be you it's easier.

Love your self for who you are. "Perfection is a disease of a nation" That statement couldn't have been said better. It is true pretty hurts, and its a job.

I must need kids to get some help around here.

OK I'am so frustrated with school and financial aid and these student loans its not even funny. So they're saying that last year 2013 I made to much money so that they wont give me all the money I need to be able to take 12 credit hours next semester. I am only going to be able to take 8 credit hours which means they are going to cut one of my classes. So now I am going to graduate later than I am suppose to. So I cant get that grant or what ever they were giving me last year because so they say I make to much money and because I have no dependents. First of all I do not make that much money yea it may be a lot if I didn't have no bills. These people don't see that I am alone I have no help from no one. I have my own apartment and stuff and I have no roommates. I have no one to help me with nothing so yea the money I make goes to all my bills. How about they subtract all of that then tell me how much money I make. They don't take none of that into consideration. This world is all messed up I paid out $3200 in taxes last year so people can have food stamps, welfare, and people can be lazy all year around to then collect a huge tax check at the end of the year, and I cant get no money for school? Really I don't even want to get started on how I really feel about society. It's inappropriate. I have no kids so I cant get no help? Really so when should I start popping them out? How many should I have? Or should I make less money then be homeless? Just so I can go to school? They are telling me to figure it out ... really? -__- Maybe ill start selling some a$$ then I can pay cash :) .. what ever my next move is to send everyone to h3!! then go to another school or something. I am not going to graduate late because of this!!!

Have a great day everyone I just had to vent real quick.

Horrible Tippers

I am a server and nothing gets on my nerves more than people who don't know how to tip, or people that do and just don't care because they're cheap. Like do you people not know servers only make $4.91 an hour (minimum wage just went up for us ooo wow -__-) ? Do people not know that we depend on tips to live off of ? Like how am I to pay my bills with all you $2 tippers!!? People really have the audacity to go out with their families and bad behind kids make a huge mess, run me back and forth for crap, kids bad and annoying as crap.. want to order all this food run up a bill then tip like $5. I would be embarrassed. If I can't afford to tip then we just going to Mcdonalds. Dollar menu for everybody. Then the younger crowd/teenagers what ever they're rude and always got these know it all attitudes make me want to punch them in the face. Like to be nasty than most of the time don't tip, just leave a huge mess putting Salt, pepper, ketchup all in their drinks trying to be cute ! Pouring mountains of salt on the table and then you look up under the table and find spit balls and gum and crap. -__- OMG I just got myself started lol .. old people let me tell you about them. They're picky , crabby , mean and get mad at you because they can't hear you. People like me make it worse because I start laughing  I can't help it. What ever now instead of 2$ they going to leave me 1 .. ooo big difference.  Like people really run up 50 or 60 dollar bills and tip like $5 seriously? Foreigners .. lol I can't stand them they speak no English half of the time and I don't understand half the crap they saying then get mad at me because I can't understand them. They make me mad because they start speaking other languages and I feel like they're talking about me because they're mad that I don't know what the hell they are saying. Now there's tension. What ever they don't tip either. How am I suppose to pay my rent or lights anything with little tips. Stop being cheap, and inconsiderate. Servers work hard for those tips at least I do so yes its upsetting when I give good service then receive a crappy tip. Thank god I'm good at what I do and I'm able to make the money I need. Some servers can't hustle right so they need those good tips all the time. Come on people we have bills to and we have to survive to. If you can't at least tip 18 or 20 percent of the bill then just don't go out to eat. Go through a drive through or something and save us a headache. 

Sentenced

It was February 19th and I had just turned 19 2 months before.  I was standing in a court room with only my mother my sister and my boyfriend as my support team. I had just signed a 3 year plea bargain with the state. No one cared to give me a second chance. Never been in trouble in my life. Almost 5 years later and I still remember the judges words to me. "Bernice Ramos you have been sentenced to 3 years as DOC property (department of corrections) good luck !" I had no emotions at all. They handcuffed me and shackled me and took me to the side. My mother, sister and even my boyfriend were in tears they were hysterical. Me no emotions still. I had to show them I was strong. I would not break down.  They took me behind some doors and down into a place where they had holding cells. Where I would wait to get transported to the county jail. As soon as I went into my cell I started crying. I cried  cried until I had nothing left in me. No energy. I cried for 3 weeks in the jail until I got transported to prison. I kept mentally preparing myself for what was yet to come. I was preparing my self for a 3 year sentence. I was only 19 I didnt know what to do or how I was going to do it. The day I got the to prison it was like the movies. Big watch towers with officers and rifles. Barbwired fences the whole 9. I went to lowell correctional institution. A maximum security prison for woman. They held death row there. I didnt know what to expect. When I got there I told my self not to make no friends,  dont talk to no one study these girls watch my self.. I have my own back, trust no one. I did just that for 3 months till I got transferred to the prison that was going to be called home. All the things I saw I experienced in there is another story in its self. The suffering I did. How I struggled inside with it. I never showed no one my tears I refused to let those girls think I was weak. I stayed In character at all times. I held my tears in for so long that the first time I got visitation from my parents I cried so hard and I didnt care who saw.. my mom my backbone was there and thats all I cared about. No one knows my full story and how hard it is to be in there ..  you realize how you took the smallest things for granted. For example heat when its cold ac when its hot. How it felt to be stripped from every right. To  be just a number. My skin grew thick from being in there. I am the definition of strong. When I got home I had nothing. Not even a pair of underwear. I had to start over. I have been home for almost 3 years now. I am so proud of my self. In those 3 years I got my own car, job, apartment and im in school. Im going all the way to the top and I will never let my past stop me. Never again will I take life or my freedom for granted. 

My thoughts on the Sandy Hook massacre

I believe the Sandy Hook massacre is all a bunch of crap. I think its just the government trying to take over the world. Its just that there's a lot of fishy things going on about it. I mean has anyone even Googled it? Stories aren't lining up no one really knows who the killer was. Not even his neighbors.

To begin with when you Google Adam Lanza's death certificate it says that he died a day before the shooting. It says that he died December 13, 2012. The shooting was the December 14th. I mean really do people actually make mistakes on death certificates, especially on stuff like this.  They say he killed his mother first then went off to the school. His mothers death certificate says she died the day of the shooting. Then there's the fact that no one knows anything about him or his family. Not even the neighbors know anything about him. People haven't heard anything from him or about since 2009 when he dropped out of college. He kind of dropped off the face of the planet after that.

Then the entire school gets demolished after that. There has been plenty of shootings at other places and they never  shut them down. That sounds like they are trying to cover up evidence to me. Then he also has this mysterious brother that no one knows nothing about. When the shooting happened the really had no video footage of anything. They showed a footage of a school but it wasn't Sandy Hook. It was another school down the street. They also showed a footage of police officers chasing someone with dogs out of a school after the shooting. Please tell me how that is possible when he shot him self in the school. Did he have an accomplice that they're not saying. During the shooting a janitor approached Adam and tried to get him to stop and he didn't shoot him. That's weird he was going on a rampage and one person gets in his way and he lets him live.

All in a matter of a few minutes he killed 26 people.. which is weird for someone who has no experience with guns .. that would mean he would have had to have perfect shots every time he shot someone to have killed that many people in a short time. The guns he had are illegal in the state he was in. How did he even get his hands on them. Not to mention Adam had some type of physcological problems so how did a mentally ill 20 year old kid have perfect aim to kill all those kids and teachers in a matter of minute with an illegal gun and no experience what so ever? Its fake in my eyes! It just doesn't add up and there's to many questions and no one can answer them..  I challenge you to Google it and watch the you tube videos and see for your self.
Case closed!